The Real Talks That Determine The Quality of Your Relationship…

Good day people!!
Hope y’all had a good restful weekend!
Well…I guess I did….would have loved some more rest though…hahahaha!

Ok…lets have some real talk today……..I wanna talk about Relationships….
One of the worst mistakes people make in relationships….especially at the beginning… is not communicating freely….or honestly talking about the deeper issues that would determine the length and quality of that relationship!

Sometimes I wonder if it’s out of fear of loosing that partner…or low self-esteem…or even having dual/multi-personalities…etc!!

To have a relationship of honesty, sincerity, love &growth… you need to communicate on deeper levels!

Having real talks with your partner very often…opens up the relationship to a much deeper connection and even bonding…than just going on dates laughing about a movie/magazine…or talking about the weather when you both can clearly see the sky is blue!!

Anyways…you’ll be surprised how you’ll learn so much more about your partner&the nature and depth of your relationship when you have more real talks ….than surface chats!

Soooo often…. couples have opposite views on the direction of the relationship! It’s funny how one is thinking about marriage& the other one is just thinking friendship...or even a fling only!!

At this point….i wanna mention some questions that I think you should ask your partner to help you guys understand your relationship better……

FIRSTLY…*Can u tell me about 5-7 things you like about me& about 5things you don’t like about me? 

When you ask this question…..it helps you both understand the things you love about each other and also….areas you can improve to enhance the relationship!
Don’t start the discussion with a negative mindset….try and see it as a couples’ interaction session… where two of you would be able to learn more about how you truly feel about each other!

SECONDLY…*Can u tell me what is your favourite outta all the activities we share together?

When you ask this question….it allows you guys understand your common hobbies and passions.

If one of you likes to sit at home watching the TV and the other loves to go to the cinema instead….then you now know where you need to compromise!

THIRDLY…* Where do you want our relationship to go?

Funny enough….for some couples …this question should come first or even second…so you could ask the questions in whichever order suits your relationship.

This question will help you guys know the direction of the relationship! It’s better to know your expectations early … rather than late if you’re both on the same page! If you’re not on the same page…then errrm…honestly…sorry to say this…but you both can mutually agree to end the relationship, so that you both can have the relationship that’s appropriate with your goals and values!

Trust me…I know that’s the hard part & infact a lotta times…couples shy away from this question cos of fear of the other partner’s answer…or reaction!

The truth is….if you don’t face the truth early…you’ll be in a relationship of future regret!

As the old saying goes… “A broken relationship is far better off than a broken marriage!”

Sooo guys…it would be better …and wiser to nip the relationship before it gets to a point of no turning back!

FOURTHLY…* Do you trust me?

Hmmmmm….yeah I know…that’s a big one!!

More often….people cannot even trust themselves …in some certain environments /circumstances…not to talk of trusting someone!

Actually…this is why I can’t deliberate over all the questions today cos this “trust” factor needs a lot more detail than 2 or 3lines!

Infact…that’s a topic for another day! LOL!

Ok…to begin with…please be clear knowing that…without trust there is NO relationship!

Soooo…errrm…  this would be a good time to discuss if there’s a difficulty to trust someone…and  there’s a lack of it due to past experiences.. insecurities..etc!

It's important to know that in a relationship…when the level of doubt is higher than the level of trust…the love becomes weak!

But guess what…it becomes stronger when we learn to trust…despite the doubts!

Trust…is actually the base/foundation of all relationships &that’s why a small mistake can just change the state of the relationship!

Like missing a “T” can “RUST” a relationship! LOL!

Now…having said all this…when you ask your partner this question of trusting you…you need to also ask yourself if you trust your partner too!

It can’t be one-sided and that’s why the response you give your partner…or your partner gives you… will reveal how strong the foundation of your relationship is!

Actually…there’s no amount of trust that’s enough for the lifetime of a relationship!

Welll….one last thing to note on trust today is that...

Everyday in the relationship...should be seen as opportunity to invest..and deepen the level of trust!

Sorry guys….but I gotta go now! But not to worry…my next post(Part2) will conclude on the “Real Talks” a couple should have…to understand their relationship better…so stay posted! 
Until my next post….feel free to comment, share with family, friends on fb, twitter…wateva..most importantly…Live,Love,Laugh…and remain blessed!