Finding A Balance Btw Your Relationship & Technology..Part2

Hey  peeeeeople!!

Good to be back…hope y’all had a good weekend! Well…I did thanks!*wink*

So where were we?... Yeah…we should begin Part2 of Finding A Balance Btw Your Relationship& Technology!

So ….the big question….What is a couple to do??

Now clearly, we can all see technology isn’t going anywhere… however, there are some simple steps all couples can actually take to manage and minimize the potential relationship pitfalls that derive from technology!

Ok…now time for you to sit down with that glass of Orange juice and pay attention!*wink*

The first step is a simple one..: Put down your cell phone and talk with your partner!! Yesss…talk!!

Obviously, we are social creatures and have a need to remain connected, however… in a committed relationship/ marriage, there’s a certain level of respect and consideration that needs to be maintained!

Sometimes I ask my friends.. "If your boss in the office approached you and wanted to have a conversation with you … would you continue to chat on your phone or keep typing on your laptop?"

The answer is probably not….Of cos you would likely show your boss the courtesy of stopping what you are doing immediately or looking  away from your computer screen when he/she is talking to you!

Well….guess what?

This same amount of respect needs to be given to your partner!

Putting down your blackberry,iPad or iPhone, however, is just the beginning….which takes me to the second step.

It is important to take active steps to "unplug" and re-engage your relationships, either romantic or any other form of  bonding as a couple.

The second step might seem more tasking...but hey…it’s worth the try!

Well, I recommend that busy couples should try and consider putting concrete rules in place to ensure that they can create or preserve quality time in their relationship!

Just as "You should never go to bed angry" so, too.. "You should never go to bed with your phone…iPad or laptop! "LOL!

Try and implement certain times during the evenings or weekends when you and your partner will be permitted to use your phones/laptop and stick to those boundaries!

Frankly, unless you’re a doctor on-call or….errrm.. a professional expecting an important call from the office, you should seriously consider leaving your phone at home when you go out on a date with your partner or spouse! Yesssss…am serious!!

Ok fine…fine ..fine…at the very least, put your phone on silent and restrict your usage if u must!

Trust me…there’s really nothing more disrespectful than a person who constantly checks their phone when in the presence of others!!!

Whether intentional or not, such behavior sends a message that the person whose company you’re in isn’t as important as that chat message or email you’re choosing to respond to! !

It’s really quite simple …. if you are committed to your relationship/marriage, you need to break-off your love affair with your blackberry,iPad,iPhone..or laptop!!

As far as am concerned…Intimacy is essential for a healthy, satisfying relationship, and errrm no… I am not talking about sex (not exclusively, anyway)..LOL!!

Actually.. Intimacy is not just physical—it’s also emotional, spiritual, and mental!

When our eyes are glued to one of our phones,ipads..or even lappys.. and not to each other, we lose this connection!
So finally guys….this is what I propose…

I’d like to propose a “media free” day for couples!!

Yessso… A day where the TV is off… the phones are put away (unless, of course, you receive an important call), and the ipads/lappys are shut down!

A day where you just totally… completely…enjoy the company of your loved ones!!

Did I hear you say impossible?
Hmmm…ok…You can’t find the courage to do this for an entire day?
Ok then…how about a few hours?  Heck…start with 30 minutes!!

I honestly know it may be a challenge at first, but trust me…soon you’ll remember the “good ol’ days” of having meaningful conversation and looking into each others eyes!

You’ll reconnect with your partner….or your spouse and your children, and get back some of that lost intimacy!

 I honestly believe that doing this at least once a week will gradually …and of cos..greatly improve your relationship!

And at the end of the day, think about it….what’s more important??..—Who just updated their bb display picture…or Who just posted something on facebook…or even Who’s going home next week on “Big Brother”…….OR  Recreating the special memorable moments that you and your partner shared as friends and made u fall in love in the first place??

Think about it……..

Yeah…I see you smiling now! So you see its worth the try!!

Ok guys…gotta go for now but until my next post…like I always say…please feel free to respond,drop your comments, share with your partner, friends…wateva…most importantly……live ,love….laugh and remain blessed!!

Finding a balance between your relationship and technology....

On a cool Wednesday night, you and your partner are sitting on the couch, unwinding after a long day. Finally...the kids are asleep, and you have the next few hours to spend together.
Instead of making the best of quality time discussing about your day...bonding.. you start flipping through the channels on your TV, your eyes are fixated on your laptop, and you’re compulsively checking your phone every two minutes for a blackberry, facebook, twitter or text message!

How many of us are guilty of a similar scenario?..LOL!yeah...I thought as much!

In this present age of  blackberry,twitter, text messaging, facebook, email,etc..we are inundated with media! Sadly,it seems like the days of just sitting across from each other and enjoying long conversations are behind us!It just makes me wonder if we are losing some very important aspects of our relationships??

Truthfully...technology has revolutionized the way we meet and connect with others.  In today's society, it's becoming a norm for people to date online or even hope to meet their future spouses online! 
Funny enuff, e-communication has made staying in touch with your partner easier than in the past!
Gone are the days when you waited by the phone for that special person to call you back.  Now, you can send a blackberry message,text message or even an email or leave a voicemail message and trust that the other person will respond almost instantaneously!

Ironically, social media sites like facebook,twitter,badoo..etc which have been known for bringing couples together, can also lead to infidelity in relationships!

Let's be clear...technology doesn't break-up couples. People are ultimately responsible for their own fidelity, even though technology can certainly facilitate opportunities for extra-marital affairs. Infact, in a matter of minutes, one can connect with an old flame or find a date on one of the dozens of dating sites available online!

In the past, if a person was romantically interested in someone outside of their relationship/marriage, there were a number of things one would have to do...which in the end might serve as a barrier to starting an affair. 
Now, one can cheat on a partner or carry on an extra-marital affair clandestinely without one's partner ever knowing!

Even if one partner is not carrying on a physical affair with another person, the frantic/prolific use of cell phones in a relationship can give the perception of one being a "cheat"! 

How many times have we been out to dinner and seen that couple sitting across from us - the guy's frenetically typing away on his blackberry, while the girl looks off into space, clearly feeling bored and invisible!

It is a pathetic image but one that sadly is becoming more and more common among a lotta couples!!

Now here's the big question....What is a couple to do? How do a couple find the balance between their relationship and technology?

Well guys...this would take us to the next part..Part2..so stay posted!
I gotta go now...but as always please feel free to drop your responses/comments below concerning todays post!

Until my next post...live, love, laugh and remain blessed! 

 

The endless list of questions before tying the knot...!

As awkward as it may seem, sometimes...or even more often a lot of couples do  not take out time to ask questions about certain things before they decide to tie that knot for life!

About 6 out of 10 couples would tell you that there are a list of things about their partner that they wished they had settled or even discussed before the wedding!

Trust me....the list is endless....  like the tiny beard hairs left in the sink after a shave? The plates placed willy nilly in the dishwasher? Come on, ladies and gentlemen! It's time to settle the debates a couple absolutely must have before the wedding!!

Like i said...its a loooooong list but hope some of these help as reminders*wink*..

1)Is it acceptable to leave dishes in the sink to "soak" overnight, or do they need to be cleaned before bed?
 
2)After using the toothpaste,should the cap be left on or off?
 
3)At what point is a garbage bag in the kitchen too full to stuff more trash in it?
 
4)How far in advance is it OK to plan a vacation?
 
5)Call the doctor or just take some medicine at home?
 
6) Is it OK to have a TV in the bedroom?
 
7)Where is the prime location for the TV remote to stay?
 
8)Should folded clothes be put away, or is it OK to just pull as needed from the basket of clean laundry?
 
9)Do you need to write a grocery list or just wait until you're walking around the store to figure out what you need?
 
10)Making the bed: must-do or waste of time because you're just going to get back in it?

So people do you see? So many issues....yet so little time to get them straightened out before you're grumbling about that wedding hall deposit or bridal gown....lol!!

I wish I could go on.... but at this point I would love to hear your own list of questions....so feel free to respond/comment below and add your own list of questions that I forgot to mention above!

Gotta go 4now ..but till my next post.. live..love..laugh&remain blessed!!