Be Your Sister's Keeper...!

Good day y’all!

Hope this post meets you alive and well!
I thank God for a new day…and the gift of life..Thanks for asking!

Truthfully…we really should care about one another…and I mean…genuinely care!

This brings about the reason for my post today….

It’s almost a month now…actually since April 15…when over 200 Nigerian girls in Chibok, Borno State were abducted by a group of Islamic militants known as Boko Haram, who stormed the school while the girls were and took these girls captive! Some managed to escape… but over 200 of them still remain missing!

Nigerians have been protesting their government to take action to find the girls and bring them home! People around the world have even joined in…using social media to call upon officials to #BringHomeOurGirls and express solidarity with the families! Celebrities, politicians and even world leaders have also joined the call!

A team from the United States also got into Nigeria…about a week ago… to help the government track this group of militants down!

Meanwhile…the families of the missing girls are still undergoing a prolonged untold agony which is just totally undescribable…as far as am concerned!

I can only but imagine the unimaginable mental torture….not just for the families of these girls…and the few of the girls that managed to escape…but the most painful thought goes to the rest of these girls who are still in the militants’ custody… not knowing what the future holds with each passing day!  

Right now…there are all sorts of #BringBankourgirls campaigns…which have drawn and captured the worlds attention!

Nigerians home and abroad…even non-Nigerians are matching up and down in unison!

It’s obvious to the world now….that there is a severe breakdown of law and  order in Nigeria!

In my opinion,I think condoning the menace of this militant group has far been prolonged…just like Professor Wole Soyinka said on CNN!

Something should have been done so long ago but instead… the Nigerian government has pleaded and bargained with this mad and murderous group for far too long!

Meanwhile all through this period of so called dialogues….thousands of  lives have been lost and mostly northern parts of the country living in perpetual fear everyday!

The leader of this group(Boko Haram).. Abubakar Shekau… has even gone on record for all to see, ranting over video tapes that he indeed abducted the girls and even threatens to “sell” the abducted school girls! He says on tape… “I abducted your girls…there is a market for selling humans. Allah says I should sell. He commands me to sell.”

The ease with which this man makes his unbelievable pronouncements is just horrific!

To think that where this abduction took place is in a state where…parents don’t want their children going to school because of this unsettling situation!

Infact…the parents are begged and have to be strongly convinced….before they even think of considering if education is worth endangering the life of their child!

Apparently…adequate security should have been provided when these poor girls were supposed to be writing their exams…but it wasn’t!!

I can only imagine what this means….that for a fact…parents will be discouraged to send their children to school…until a clear solution takes place!

Sadly…we are watching a runaway train and we just can’t remain silent!

At least…not while these young girls are missing!Goshhh….my heart just bleeds everyday…thinking about these girls in the custody of this group!!

It’s a big pity…. Nigeria isn’t working and we know it and well….now the world knows it!

The U.S. State Department, The UK, France, China and the US are among the countries lending their support to the Nigerian security officials.

We can only hope and pray that the girls return safe and that the reign of terror of Boko Haram is consigned to the past as soon as possible!

Well…now that the Nigerian government has welcomed outside help perhaps…. we can now see some action on investigations!

This is the time for Nigerians to come together in unity…support and pressure the government to do something and something fast!

At this point…I can’t say more….the girls in custody…their families,Nigerians…and even the whole world are waiting!

I know it’s a very big challenge for Nigeria and it’s not gonna be easy...but I just want to use this medium to ask that we pray…and fast…if we can…for the safe return of these girls!

Any of them could have been your sister, daughter…niece…even a family friend or neighbour!

We have to speak out and do so…with one voice!!I know it’s almost a month…but the truth is…we can’t sit back and give up…cos better late than never!!

We need to bring back those girls…better late…than never!!!!!

Gotta go now…but until my next post..Live,Love……hmmm….and remain blessed!

The Real Talks That Determine The Quality of Your Relationship...Part2

Good day peeeeople!!

Been a while! How have you been? Hope good!!
I apologise for the slight delay in posting Part2 of The Real Talks That Determine The Quality of Your Relationship…

Actually…I didn’t wanna rush my thoughts so it took me a while to put it together!

Hope it’ll be worth your wait!*wink*

Ok so….moving on to the next question on the real talks between you and your partner…

5. Can we talk to each other about anything?

Now you need to understand that when I say anything…I mean EVERYTHING!

From your past..or even present fears,insecurities,expectations,experiences…to your dreams,goals…or pursuits…and the list goes on!

Well…If the answer is no…you will have to discuss the reasons…and then work on creating…or maintaining a bonding&open environment that will foster the open communication!

I know this could be hard for some couples…especially for men/women who aren’t exactly vocal….but the truth is…if you are gonna see yourselves as partners/even confidants for life…then you need to begin by being friends…eventually…and hopefully…the best of friends!

6. What does love mean to you?
 Yeaaah…..I know! LOL! It’s a tricky….but yet..a very vital question!

If you must know…honestly..this question helps you both be on the same page about love!

Love is actually a choice and it’s unconditional! If two people feel differently about this…then there’s no way the relationship will last through the storms!

Couples have their perception of what love is…and it’s important that your partner’s perspective is in sync with yours!

Truth be told….as humans…one could get selfish in your expectations of love from your partner& that’s why when this question is discussed…it helps you understand your partner better…and of cos…love your partner the right way!

 7. What are your expectations of love and our relationship?

Actually…this question is like an annex to question6.

Well…this question will help you both clearly understand the positive and negative motives for being together!
What might seem as a positive motive on your part could be seen as negative to your partner!

Truthfully…we all come from different backgrounds &even though what brings us together in a relationship are the common values we observe in our partner….there are still some perceptions…teachings…or even experiences while growing up…that need to be explicitly shared with our partner for the benefit of appreciating your partner and being in a true and purely open relationship!

8. Do you believe a relationship requires hard work or should it be easy?

Hmmm….if you and your partner believe that a relationship needs to be continuously worked on/maintained…then it’s good to know you are on the same page....but if both of you can’t agree a real relationship requires hard work….then you need to address your differences!

As the saying goes…"A relationship…or even love…is like a flower! It needs to be watered…nurtured…unless it’ll wither & die!”

It’s a saying that helps you understand how to appreciate your partner…like a flower! You need to admire your partner…water/shower your partner with love…everyday…every other day….once a week…once a month…or else??

Yeah…your guess is as good as good as mine! The relationship…or love…might not die but it will wither!

9. Do our core values and beliefs repel or compel each other?

Truth be told…we all have values that direct us and help us make decisions—those beliefs that are fundamental to how we are wired… guiding our actions, thoughts, plans and purpose here on earth!

Now,the problem is most of us have never articulated what those values really are! And if you don’t know your values, how can you expect your partner to have a clue??

These values go beyond just your stated religion. Two people who are following Christ can still have some different core values that tangibly direct their decisions!

For example…using a scenario where one partner believes that going to church every Sunday makes him a total or even complete Christian…and then the other feels she not only attends church every Sunday but most importantly communicates to God daily & lives in the ways of God!

Actually..you could have a high value for responsibility and the person you’re dating could have a high value for risk!
Both values are good and not necessarily incompatible…but if not articulated and discussed, it could be a point of high conflict if the responsible person likes consistency and persistence, while the risk-taker likes changing things up and going for what seems the impossible!

As a matter of fact...too many relationships/marriages start (and even end) with vague and un-identified core values!

Having this in mind, the earlier you share your beliefs/values with your partner…the better for the relationship/marriage!

10.What do you think we can do to make our relationship better?

Lastly….this is a question to really listen to each other and after hearing each other’s suggestion, opinion …and even advice…you can now take your relationship to another level by working together as one to enhance what you have and make it better!!

Ok guys…this ends the Real Talks I think a couple should have to determine the quality of their relationship….!

I hope my post ...in some way...inspires & encourages you..&i wish you all the best in your relationship/marriage!

Gotta go now...but please feel free to drop your comments/additions to the post...and share with your family,friends on facebook,twitter,,bb..wateva....most importantly..Live,Love,Laugh...and remain blessed!

The Real Talks That Determine The Quality of Your Relationship…

Good day people!!
Hope y’all had a good restful weekend!
Well…I guess I did….would have loved some more rest though…hahahaha!

Ok…lets have some real talk today……..I wanna talk about Relationships….
One of the worst mistakes people make in relationships….especially at the beginning… is not communicating freely….or honestly talking about the deeper issues that would determine the length and quality of that relationship!

Sometimes I wonder if it’s out of fear of loosing that partner…or low self-esteem…or even having dual/multi-personalities…etc!!

To have a relationship of honesty, sincerity, love &growth… you need to communicate on deeper levels!

Having real talks with your partner very often…opens up the relationship to a much deeper connection and even bonding…than just going on dates laughing about a movie/magazine…or talking about the weather when you both can clearly see the sky is blue!!

Anyways…you’ll be surprised how you’ll learn so much more about your partner&the nature and depth of your relationship when you have more real talks ….than surface chats!

Soooo often…. couples have opposite views on the direction of the relationship! It’s funny how one is thinking about marriage& the other one is just thinking friendship...or even a fling only!!

At this point….i wanna mention some questions that I think you should ask your partner to help you guys understand your relationship better……

FIRSTLY…*Can u tell me about 5-7 things you like about me& about 5things you don’t like about me? 

When you ask this question…..it helps you both understand the things you love about each other and also….areas you can improve to enhance the relationship!
Don’t start the discussion with a negative mindset….try and see it as a couples’ interaction session… where two of you would be able to learn more about how you truly feel about each other!

SECONDLY…*Can u tell me what is your favourite outta all the activities we share together?

When you ask this question….it allows you guys understand your common hobbies and passions.

If one of you likes to sit at home watching the TV and the other loves to go to the cinema instead….then you now know where you need to compromise!

THIRDLY…* Where do you want our relationship to go?

Funny enough….for some couples …this question should come first or even second…so you could ask the questions in whichever order suits your relationship.

This question will help you guys know the direction of the relationship! It’s better to know your expectations early … rather than late if you’re both on the same page! If you’re not on the same page…then errrm…honestly…sorry to say this…but you both can mutually agree to end the relationship, so that you both can have the relationship that’s appropriate with your goals and values!

Trust me…I know that’s the hard part & infact a lotta times…couples shy away from this question cos of fear of the other partner’s answer…or reaction!

The truth is….if you don’t face the truth early…you’ll be in a relationship of future regret!

As the old saying goes… “A broken relationship is far better off than a broken marriage!”

Sooo guys…it would be better …and wiser to nip the relationship before it gets to a point of no turning back!

FOURTHLY…* Do you trust me?

Hmmmmm….yeah I know…that’s a big one!!

More often….people cannot even trust themselves …in some certain environments /circumstances…not to talk of trusting someone!

Actually…this is why I can’t deliberate over all the questions today cos this “trust” factor needs a lot more detail than 2 or 3lines!

Infact…that’s a topic for another day! LOL!

Ok…to begin with…please be clear knowing that…without trust there is NO relationship!

Soooo…errrm…  this would be a good time to discuss if there’s a difficulty to trust someone…and  there’s a lack of it due to past experiences.. insecurities..etc!

It's important to know that in a relationship…when the level of doubt is higher than the level of trust…the love becomes weak!

But guess what…it becomes stronger when we learn to trust…despite the doubts!

Trust…is actually the base/foundation of all relationships &that’s why a small mistake can just change the state of the relationship!

Like missing a “T” can “RUST” a relationship! LOL!

Now…having said all this…when you ask your partner this question of trusting you…you need to also ask yourself if you trust your partner too!

It can’t be one-sided and that’s why the response you give your partner…or your partner gives you… will reveal how strong the foundation of your relationship is!

Actually…there’s no amount of trust that’s enough for the lifetime of a relationship!

Welll….one last thing to note on trust today is that...

Everyday in the relationship...should be seen as opportunity to invest..and deepen the level of trust!

Sorry guys….but I gotta go now! But not to worry…my next post(Part2) will conclude on the “Real Talks” a couple should have…to understand their relationship better…so stay posted! 
Until my next post….feel free to comment, share with family, friends on fb, twitter…wateva..most importantly…Live,Love,Laugh…and remain blessed!

This priceless ...powerful antidote!!

Hello peeeeople!!!

How y'all doin?Hope good!!

Well...am good thanks for asking!

I wanna talk about something that is so unexpected today cos there are a lotta of societal ills happening around me...that are so disheartening....hmmm...but through all that...one still needs to be thankful...for life...and of cos...the privilege to laugh!

Yeah I know y'all are wondering what am talking about....

Well....some people think laughter is a waste of time!

Infact…to some…it’s not even necessary cos once u laugh too much in certain environments…it gives an impression of stupidity..or even meekness/looseness more on the part of the female gender!

Funny enough…I just remembered running into an ex-classmate a few days ago and the thought of our meeting inspired me to write this....

She was so jovial and used to laugh a whole lot back in the days! Infact…she used to laugh so loud in class that she always ended up being caught by the teacher whenever we were up to mischief during lectures cos by the time the teacher turned to us…we would have stopped laughing but she just couldn't!

Of cos…the teacher would then ask her….Wat’s funny?”..Wat’s so funny about the topic?”

She would always shake her head saying.. “Nothing Sir”..or … “Nothing Ma” and eventually get scolded!

Anyways….when I saw her…her looks had changed! …of cos…she was years older now…but…it was more than that! Even when we hugged…it felt funny!

We got talking...but at a point I had to ask her why she had changed into this very serious, straight-faced woman…instead of the ever-laughing, meek-looking girl I know & always remembered…??

She just plainly admitted… “My dear…life has taught me to stop laughing so much as I used to! Too many ills happening in the world that just have a way of wiping the smile off your face!

Infact I get reminded each time in my office how some colleagues don’t take my opinions seriously and others disrespect me in their little way cos they feel I will always laugh about it! I just had to stop laughing& even now when funny jokes are cracked..i make a conscious effort not to laugh!!”

Hmmm….at that point I had to give her a brief talk about life and… laughter!

Do you realise that Laughter is your birthright, a natural part of life that’s innate and inborn...whether you like it/not!!

 Actually…infants begin smiling during the first weeks of life and laugh out loud within months of being born! Even if you didn’t grow up in a household where laughter was a common sound, you can learn to laugh at any stage of life!

Truthfully…one can’t laugh ALL the time cos at some point….such a person could be seen as abnormal…especially with the weighty challenges life throws your way every now and then!

Also…think about it… “too much of something ain’t always good for you!”

I remember back in the days when I used to laugh over a joke so hard& my mum would say.. “Be careful…stop laughing before you get the hiccups!” I would continue laughing & eventually have hiccups!*smh* (shaking my head)

Anyways…the point is…in life..there has to be moderation in whatever you do. You don’t have to completely stop laughing because some people do not appreciate laughter!!

As far as am concerned…Laughter is essential to our equilibrium… to our well-being, to our aliveness! If we are well, laughter helps us stay that way….but If we aren’t well, laughter helps us get well!

Infact… scientific studies have shown that laughter has a curative effect on the body, the mind and even the emotions!

Ok guys …lemme give you some juicy insights on some benefits of Laughter ….

*It lowers stress hormones   *It decreases pain  *It relaxes your muscles  *Prevents heart disease  * Eases anxiety and fear   *Relieves stress

Should I go on??LOL! Yeah..i know you get my point now!
Anyways....Soooo...if you like laughter, consider it as sound medical advice to indulge in it as often as you can please!

Use whatever makes you laugh – watching a cartoon...or comedy, chatting with funny friends, reading jokes, goof around with kids,play with a pet, make time for karaoke with friends…etc!

 Do yourself a favour today…*wink*  Give yourself permission to laugh…. looong  and out loud…. whenever anything strikes you as funny…but please remember to do so in moderation!

Sometimes when you laugh too looong....or too hard...the people around you may think you’re strange, but trust me….sooner or later they’ll join in your laughter even if they don’t know what you’re laughing about!!

Ok people….gotta go for now but remember…..Some diseases may be contagious, but none is as contagious as the cure. . . laughter!! Best of all, this priceless daily medicine is fun, free, and easy to use!!*wink*

Soooo...Until my next post….please feel free to comment,share on facebook, bb, twitter..with family and friends but most importantly….Live,Love,Laugh…and remain blessed!!

The Month of May....."Miracle Awaits You"!

Good day people! Its d 1st of May…Happy New Month!

We have entered into the 2nd quarter of the year and I pray that all our efforts will be crowned with great success in Jesus name…Amen!!

I know there may be days when you get up in the morning and you don’t even feel like getting outta bed cos things aren’t the way you had hoped they would be.

Well…that’s when you have to tell yourself that things will get better! Yesss it will!

Trust me…Life has its phases and no situation or circumstance stays permanent!

You need to realise that there are times when people will disappoint you and let you down….but those are the times when you must remind yourself to trust your own judgments and opinions, to keep your life focused on believing in yourself and your capabilities!

No matter what…there will be challenges to face and changes to make at some point in your life, and whether you like it or not…it’s up to you to accept them!

You need to constantly keep yourself headed in the right direction for you…and only you!

It may not be easy at times, but in those times of struggle…somehow you will find a stronger sense of who you are…and who you want to be!

So guess what?.....

When the days come that are filled with frustration and unexpected responsibilities, remember to believe in yourself and all you want your life to be……cos those challenges/ changes will only help you to find the goals that you know are meant to come true for you!

Well….in the spirit of the new month…I would like to see it as.. “Life always offers you a second chance and it’s called tomorrow!”

Infact…I understand the month of “MAY” to mean “Miracle Awaits You”!!

Did I hear an Amen?..Yesssso….Amennnn!!

Ok guys…gotta go now!yeah….as usual!LOL! Well…I hope my post today inspires you to take life’s challenges as stepping stones to a greater YOU!!

Am sure you guys must have heard the saying “When Life throws lemons at you….make lemonades!”

Welll….dats not enough for me…I would rather accept the reconstructions of that saying which is…."When Life throws lemons at you….make lemon grenades&throw them back really really hard!!!”   LOL!...

OR even more amusing…"If Life gives you lemons..make orange juice and leave Life wondering how you did it!!" LMHO (Laffing My Heart Out)!!

Ok guys…so take your pick…When Life gets you down ….are you gonna wallow in self-pity…OR Keep repeating  any of the lemon sayings above??

 Yeah…I thought as much! That’s the spirit!!*wink*

Ok guys…gotta go now!yeah….as usual! LOL! Well…I hope my post today inspires you to take life’s challenges as sour juices…or stepping stones to a greater YOU!!

Until my next post…please feel free to respond with your comments, share on facebook,twitter..with family, friends….wateva….most importantly….Live, Love…Laugh and remain blessed!