Is It Your Attitude or Your True Personality?

Is there really a difference between one's personality and one's attitude??
Welll..to be honest I think there's quite a difference between the two.

Thinking about it now...there are hot-tempered peeps who don't surprise you with their temper so when they blow up..at least it's something you already expect and you waive it off knowing that's how they are(their personality)!...But the quick-tempered peeps could be a little different because the outburst just comes from nowhere right in the middle of a discussion..leaving u shocked and speechless like a statue(their attitude)!!LOL!*smh*

Funny enough,I think everyone's attitude could differ at anytime... but what makes the difference is what makes you upset..or suddenly angry ,how you express your anger/how often..and of course..to whom!(which is the reason why personality and attitude become confusing).

More often than not,this confusion between personality and attitude happens in relationships or friendships...not with acquaintances who probably are meeting for the first time.
So when it happens in relationships,it gives the other partner a different perception about your personality over time.
Have you heard the saying "Don't confuse my personality with my attitude. My personality is who I am. My attitude depends on who you are or how you treat me!"

Bottom line is if you expect to be treated nicely..you can't get that by being a Tiger or being hot-tempered at any given opportunity!

Trust me..I know it takes a lot of energy,patience and even maturity when dealing with hot-tempered peeps but the truth is two people can't be mad at each other/upset at the same time to be able to forge ahead positively...Which is why you have to be patient with such people and think of an amicable way or response to arrive at a positive end.

Bad temper is something that you can also deal with by recognizing and accepting that you have a hot temper and then, work towards how you express your anger...So that your bad attitude doesn't end up becoming your true personality!

For everytime you get upset,you don't have to go into a rage spilling out words you can't take back after the harm is done!
"Stab the body& it heals...but if u injure the heart,it takes a lifetime!"

At some phase in my life,I realised it was more painful regretting some words I spat out in anger and I just couldn't take it back!
I had also come to realise that,in this part of the world.. there are lotta people who confuse my kindness for weakness!*smh*
At some point..I just had to ask myself "Will you rather say something bad in anger and chew back your words later or try staying calm(counting 1-100) in your head or walking away..knowing that you will have no regrets later?"
Of course,I chose the latter and even till this minute,I find it hard to wear the cloak when I face such trying instances(covering my face)... but I just keep reminding myself that I chose "act the fool" over "crying over spilled milk"!!
There's no denying it...we face this on a daily,especially when we have friends,colleagues or partners who have a way of pushing you into Tiger-mode...but I think at the end of the day,it's a much better feeling knowing you didn't say/do something you will regret later*sighs*

On that note,I think it's necessary to remember that everyone has a different personality(even twins!!),so it's inevitable not to have misunderstandings!
So in the course of a misunderstanding or argument with a partner,friend or colleague...don't let your words/actions leave you in a state of regret but instead let it be a way of you being seen as a person who appreciates or takes into consideration other people's personalities/feelings and the never-changing fact that Noone knows tomorrow!

Good attitude begets good results*smiles*

Till my next post..Live,Laugh,Love and of cos stay blessed!

Nothing Good Comes Easy...

Sitting on my bed on a lazy Saturday morning...am reminiscing and thinking to myself.....Hmmmm...Just like a few other aged sayings like "The Evil That Men Do Live After Them"...the saying used as my Post title seems not to have that weighty effect I grew up with!

There was also a recent controversy concerning an advice given by a well-known preacher advising singles on marriage partners ,which would have been more agreeable with the singles populace back then because it was a norm for a wife-to-be to know how to cook, to be a complete package and for a husband-to-be to have a steady income stream, was definitely top of the list!
But hmmm...with the change in millennium times evolving with a lot of woman empowerment,gender equality,bread-winner wives...etc...that kinda advice requiring a woman to be a good cook before a suitor can see her possessing wifey qualities ..cannot be given so much applause..in these times...If u ask me. Naaaa*smh**sighs*

Wellll...anyways..I come from a time when my dad used to remind me so quickly saying "Nothing Good Comes Easy", whenever I complain about why I have to face all the challenges to study Law(not Music,Yoruba or Agric Education) in a reputable University just to get a Degree,for gainful employment into a top organization...why I would have to go through the NYSC programme to fulfill my own quota as a bona fide graduate getting ready to be part of the workforce in my country...*sighs*...
Infact,why would I have to eat bitter things or less sugary foods just to maintain good health when all my body craves for is..foods packed with loads of cheese,cream,sugar..etc??Whyyyyyy???*sighs*

Now bringing us back to today...I have come to realize that quite a number of good things have started becoming easy to achieve...Or better still,you don't have to suffer sooo much before achieving positive results...Well at least for some people *Hahaha*

For instance,it's quite interesting to know that now,you don't necessarily have to be a lawyer or doctor before you get a good job&enticing pay package!!
You can still read Yoruba/Music in the University and get a job in a bank!!*smh*
Infact let's put it up a notch...U don't even have to go to a University and graduate with a 1st class degree before becoming a successful musician or actress ,making millions from an album or movie!!*sighs*

Thinking about it now....Back in the days...To woo a girl, you would have to talk on the phone for months...visit her every other day if you can...tell her sweet-nothings loaded with just smiles&hugs..But now,the guy doesn't have to wait 2years talking about his family or aspirations in life before his girlfriend sees his bedroom!!
Infact for some,wooing is a matter of buying pizza and ice cream ,etc for the girl...(not having to talk his life out all in the name of toasting)and even gifts that the girl's parents have never bought her..like a car,a house..a trip abroad..etc..
Of course,in a short time,after being wooed with things she only saw in her dreams...the girl gives in and the guy succeeds in making her his woman!*smiles*

Ok..let's even go domestic..

 Back in the days,Pounded yam was a weekend delicacy in my house because of the rigours we will go through preparing the meal...(using a mortar and pestle to pound the yam)...But now..I practically eat Pounded yam/Yam flour about 3times a week..thanks to the Poundo machine or Packets of Yam flour ,to ease off all that stress!! *smh*How cool is that!*LOL!

Lemme also mention those loooong hours used back then for washing clothes and having to wash out a stash of plates have now been overtaken by the Washing machines & Dish washers!! LOL!

I can't help but mention this one before I go...
Back then, I was a lot heavier in weight..especially from my waist downwards(which resulted in a certain nickname given to me in University)...
Anyways,my parents had to constantly remind me to watch my diet,encourage me to run about 3miles in the mornings, 3-4 times a week and truuuust me...it wasn't funny!!!

But now,a lotta people don't have that kinda time,patience..or even discipline when it comes to Weight loss...they'll rather buy a pack of Slim tea/coffee..or a pack of Slimming pills that will take off the weight without having to leave the confines of their home or deprive themselves of their fav cravings!

As I put my pen down...I think the next time you wanna advice or urge someone to work real hard or sweat before seeing results...in this era of "Work Smart..not Work Hard" using the saying..."Nothing Good Comes Easy"... Please remember it may not apply to this generation in all its entirety! *smiles*
Who says nothing good comes easy??? *wink* *sticking my tongue out* LOL!!!

Till my next post...Live..Laugh..Love..and of cos..stay blessed!

The Problem Behind The Silence...

Helloooooo peeps!
How's it been?Hope this post meets you in good health!*wink*
And soooo...a few days ago,I got chatting with a friend who complained to me about his wife's silence recently,especially on issues or discussions that would have usually aroused her vocality!
To my amusement,he felt relieved by her recent change of behaviour...as opposed to when they would have noisy arguments waking up the neighbours every other night!*sighs*

Hmmmm...Well..as usual..I got inspired to write a post on this*smiles*

It's quite interesting to see that when a couple are having an argument...a partner's silence is often mistaken for stupidity..naivety or lack of knowledge...even a subtle agreement to whatever the outcome of the situation is...and a whole lot more of misinterpretations!*smh*

But guess what...
More often than not...the partner is silent or slow to respond for other reasons that a lot of people dont realise or for some that do...they just choose to ignore or pretend like they don't know.*smiles*

Lemme put it this way...In a friendship or relationship,in the course of a misunderstanding...if your partner is silent,it is not because he/she agrees totally with your opinion...He/She respects you enough not to bother arguing..infact he/she might have even stopped respecting you and doesn't even see the need why they should waste their energy or time arguing with you!

As a matter of fact...At the point where your partner starts becoming silent or slow to respond...you should be more worried than happy or relieved!
Infact, be VERY worried...especially if he/she has been very vocal in the relationship before now!
Don't even kid yourself thinking your partner has finally become ur love puppet! *rolling my small eyes*

It's at that point that you should even begin to think deeper as to why the he/she is not responding!
It's at that point that you should realise the problem you are talking about ,might not even be the REAL problem but something else!*sighs*

Instead of jumping up for joy at having a quiet and submissive partner, you should be more concerned over the fact that the communication has become one-sided and definitely needs more than silence from you or your partner!
Afterall communication is both ways before it's regarded as a successful one!

On that note,as I drop my pen on sharing my 2cents...the next time you feel happy with yourself and singing Hallelujah cos your partner has become silent more often in the relationship...be sure to ask yourself if you are SUCCESSFULLY communicating in the relationship...which is one of the strongest factors of a successful relationship!

Till my next post...live..laugh..love..and of cos..stay blessed!